This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
