we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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