I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
