I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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