so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
