Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
