The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I will be naked everywhere
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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