She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
