I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
