I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Acid is not a monday night drug
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
