and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
