Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Randomize
