ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
