Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
