Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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