How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
