Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
