worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
