You're completely useless in the revolution.
She's JV to your varsity
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
