those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
