we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
