That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
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