I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
smell my finger.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
