this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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