i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Damn victory sex feels great
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
