is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I got inside last night via doggy door
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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