Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You've changed since you got that strap on
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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