nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize
