Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Betty ford says i'm here all night
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
