the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
