Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
