Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
