Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
