So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
