I wish i was in the wii world.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
i now understand why vodka
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
