I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
