Will you blow on my dice?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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