we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
