dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
