i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
