Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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