The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
