It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
