thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
