Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
time to smoke my breakfast
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
