Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
