That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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