I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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