Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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