You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
