Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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