i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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