people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i dont even know how to be here
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I think I sprained my soul last night
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
