My balls are so social today.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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