my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
